So that you will all understand me a bit better.

Iowans don't really take themselves too seriously.
Although I was a city dweller, Iowa City, any Iowan worth their right to call themselves Iowans
must have a farm connection. The old homestead, the one my grandfather had, was my farm connection.
We don't trace our genealogy by our names in Iowa we trace it by whom held the first farm in this beautiful state.

So enjoy!

You Grew Up In Rural Iowa If . . . ... You know what knee-high by the
Fourth of July means. (The best way to get out of a traffic ticket is to ask how the corn is doing in the area when you are
pulled over by a highway patrolman. It works. Going back for a visit some years ago, a highway patrolman stopped our van for speeding. We were sporting Colorado license plates. My father who was riding in front immediately said in his best mid western voice, "How's the corn, it looks pretty dry here, was wondering what the bushel estimate might be if things don't look up. " Needless to say we discussed the weather, the conditions for the corn, the fondness of Iowa and how we missed it and were given a warning.

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping
between the reception and wedding dance.  My husband doesn't dance, so this is not a part of my background.

You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery, and
would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
Do you know the difference?

You buy Christmas presents at Farm Fleet.
More is spent on beer & liquor than food at weddings.

You or someone you know was a "Pork Queen" at the county fair.

You know that "combine" is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a
steel post in the middle of winter. ( Or talked into putting your hand on the electric fence by your country cousins who think you are
a wimp because you live in the city.  Trick my father taught me is to take hold of it as hard as you can and that minimizes the shock.)

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".

Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into
consideration before wedding dates are set.

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend
shining for deer. Or in my case, shooting bullfrogs in the farm ponds and frying the legs up for a tasty dinner later.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley. Or horse shoe competitions. Horse shoe was my game.

There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in
the morning...phew!

You have driven your car on the lake. (Or better  yet, ice skated on the criks that ran through the old farmstead.)

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the
chicken dance.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar. And serves breaded pork tenderloins for lunch.
Solon, Iowa still has the best pork tenderloins in the country.

The local gas station sells live bait. Or you can seine for bait illegally as did my father and uncles. The game warden
of Johnson county didn't mess with the Dvorsky brothers, eight of them.

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat
processing plant.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

Pop is the only name for soda.

You actually understand these jokes and will forward them to all your
Iowa friends!!!!!

oh I am from I o w a a a a a y!!! 

oh I am from I o w a a a a a y!!!  That's where the tall corn grows!!!!

And if you are Czech,  the best desert in the world is the wonderful, wonderful kolache.